The Ugliest Shoes I Have Ever Seen

August 31st, 2010 in Life by 38 Comments

Let me start this post off with a big, NO HOMO. This blog is not about to turn into some fashion critique forum or anything of the sort.

Straight to the point. There is a bunch of ugly shit I’ve seen women in through my life: Flower sandals aka hoodrat specials; dirty K-Swiss, little ponytails hanging out the back of a dirty scrunchy, and those clear shoes aka Melissas. These shoes are RIGHT up there with them.

To undress a woman implies that she was once DRESSED. Dressed in clothing that 99% of the time could care less about, as long as it’s clean and odor free. There is something quite intriguing about a woman that I think is fly though. I’ve seen some MEAN shoe games in my day. Bubbles has STACKS by the season. Freckles had them on DECK. China’s closet looks like a shoe a store. Moscato doesn’t even own a pair of heels I don’t like. It didn’t matter if I was in a white t-shirt and some hoopin’ shorts, they still stepped out proper.

During a recent trip to Fairlane mall to take back some tux’s from a wedding, I saw 7 young ladies in a certain style of shoe, that turned my stomach. Once again, NO HOMO. It’s just a shoe and I RARELY comment on womens shoes unless I thought they were extremely sexy, but this…I just can’t co-sign. Would these shoes stop me from approaching a woman? HECKS NO. But if she think those ugly *** shoes were cute and she thinks I’m cute, what is that saying about me? Yes, I know, I’m tripping and I probably sound ultra-stupid, but gosh darn it, the shoes are ugly.

That flat-sandal, ankle wrap, open in the front bullshit has got to go. It HAS TO GO. I don’t care if you paid $15 or $5,000. I’m done venting. Shouts to Bubbles, Moscato, Freckles, Alina, Daphney, and L’anor…HEEL GAMES PROPER.

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Author: The Undresser

Black, Single, and Not Looking. Enjoys grilled salmon, cold glasses of water, and grocery shopping at Meijer. Likes women with nice ass to waist ratios, Reese Cups, and watching Real Time with Bill Maher. Dislikes cigarettes, littering, and disobedient children.

38 Comments

Vote -1 Vote +1SUNSHINE

8/31/2010



COSIGN! these have to be the worst shoe fad since those awful flower flip flops! LMAO @ hoodrat specials

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Vote -1 Vote +1The Undresser Reply:

flower flips lops LOST.

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Vote -1 Vote +1mecca Reply:

ya’ll hatin so dang hard!!!! lol sunny yeah you and uH i think that some, not all mind you are cute …okay most are ugly but i have seen some nice ones. so just like those dunks you hate uH baby which are also made by nike and have that retarded swoosh. muah

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Vote -1 Vote +1The Undresser Reply:

just because you don’t like something, doesn’t mean you’re a hater.

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Vote -1 Vote +1mecca Reply:

just cause you hatin dosen’t make you a hater… it just means you hatin

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Vote -1 Vote +1The Undresser Reply:

how is saying you don’t like something hating though? Hate is just as strong of a word as love, yet we throw it around so loosely.

Vote -1 Vote +1bogart4017

8/31/2010



These shoes REQUIRE comment! I swear i hope next summer i won’t have to be looking at those things. Nothing attractive about them aat all.

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Vote -1 Vote +1MissPinkLady

8/31/2010



I agree they are VERY ugly! I thought it was just a Philly thing, lol. What’s the point of having your toes out but your ankles covered!! Now I have to admit I did see a girl wearing them with a cute outfit and they didn’t look bad. But yeah ummmm no!

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Vote -1 Vote +1uh knows my ip address

8/31/2010



HE IS SOOOO FUCKIN GAY!!! GOTDAMN!!! YOU CAN BLOCK ME AFTER THISCOMMENT, BUT YOU ARE GAY AND AFRAID TO ADMIT IT! BUT THOSE ARE SOME CHEAP UGLY ASS SHOES THOUGH!!

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Vote -1 Vote +1The Undresser Reply:

why would you tell me to block you when YOU can just stop commenting? Your homosexual theories bother me none, since…well, I’m not gay.

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Vote -1 Vote +1AGK Reply:

U need to invest on “like” buttons, dear. LMAO

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Vote -1 Vote +1uh knows my ip address Reply:

agk you stay on uh dick bitch #getalife…slut bucket why don’t you go fuck him so he can ass to the 1 million girls he had then start talking shit about you ! silly whore

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Vote -1 Vote +1The Undresser Reply:

excuse me, but I have NOT had sex with 1 million women!!! Furthermore, the fact that she agrees about one thing her and there, does not mean she’s on my d**k…AT ALL. Why are you so negative, geesh.

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Vote -1 Vote +1AGK Reply:

LMAO, baby girl… Jealousy and self hate is a disease… U need to get over it ;) Smootches.
Oh, and btw, even if i had sex with him, it would be none of ur damn business. Get a life honeeeyyyy! *snaps twice*

Vote -1 Vote +1The Undresser Reply:

lol @ snaps twice.

Vote -1 Vote +1Miss McNulty

8/31/2010



LMAO! This is soooooo funny bc my best friend down right REFUSES to get at any female he finds attractive if she has on any shoes similar to this.

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Vote -1 Vote +1The Undresser Reply:

that’s a stand up guy.

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Vote -1 Vote +1AGK

8/31/2010



Aaahhh, gotta love the heels! :)
Them shits look horrid.
I’d take flip flops over that ANY-DAMN-DAY.
Thank you and good day.

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Vote -1 Vote +1The Undresser Reply:

i’m good with flip flops.

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Vote -1 Vote +1Renae

8/31/2010



Lol, I do agree this style is atrocious but never have I seen ones with the cowboy boot outline….lmao wtf?!  You are not alone in your hatred for these monstrosities.   Oooh, and I forgot about the glorified jellie sandals aka Melissas.  The worst…

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Vote -1 Vote +1The Undresser Reply:

I’m waiting for the women that like them to come defend them.

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Vote -1 Vote +1Kizzie

8/31/2010



I’m so glad you brought this up… This ish is all over the ATL. I wuz hopin I wasn’t on my own with this, cause I just don’t get it… Bravo UH for tellin chicks this garbage is atrocious.

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Vote -1 Vote +1The Undresser Reply:

no doubt.

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Vote -1 Vote +1droptopchic

9/1/2010



These shoes r not ugly at all ok um yea those brown ones r ug but people wear them wron.g there meant to be worn with long pants not skirts n shorts for example take the coach with some long black treggings.ima have to post a pic tbc

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Vote -1 Vote +1The Undresser Reply:

everybody has an opinion and I respect yours just as just like everyone else.

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Vote -1 Vote +1JustBeinHonest

9/1/2010



I wouldn’t say I’m defending them… Because I don’t own a pair nor do I want to… But those shoes are actually pretty big is SoCal but we’re told we dress funny anyways. (So who cares) … Heels and Boots are hardly seen on women out here because it doesn’t get that cold and we rock all different types of sandals… Our toes stay with the pedi and open toes shoes so its not really about the shoe.. It’s more about “Girl yo toes better look RIGHt before you step outside”

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Vote -1 Vote +1Lesha

9/1/2010



lmaoo i was waiting for this post lol….. i agree they are a hot mess

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Vote -1 Vote +1Charlie Sweet

9/1/2010



LMAO! This style is an adaptation of the gladiator sandal of the ’05-’07 era. So I’m guessing you find those ugly as well. I don’t own a pair, but honestly I believe a girl could do worse. I mean, compared to CROCS this shit is golden if you ask me.

MY question is, were the tux’s you were returning rentals? Or did you commit a sales aasocites nightmare and return worn clothes with the tag on?LMAO.

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Vote -1 Vote +1The Undresser Reply:

Who in their right mind would buy 6 tux’s, then go through the trouble of returning all of them, knowing darn well we wore them, sweat and all? Of course they were rentals.

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Vote -1 Vote +1charlie sweet

9/1/2010



*sales associate’s*

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Vote -1 Vote +1Mr. Ready Set

9/1/2010



As i am reading this, there is an ad on the left from DonaldJPliner.com/LisaPliner (a shoe company?) for their Fall 2010 line up. Number one item? Some combat boots with the toes cut out. WTFH!? LMFAO! hahaha! UH, you have summoned shoe demons from the depths of hell!

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Vote -1 Vote +1The Undresser Reply:

google ads are automatic, lol

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Vote -1 Vote +1charlie sweet

9/1/2010



LOL didn’t realize there were six…

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Vote -1 Vote +1missdeejaym

9/2/2010



AAAhhh honestly this has nothing to do with the post but where is your facebook page?! I think you are a widely entertaining young man & i miss those crazy status updates!!! Not only for the entertainment value but also some times for the mentally stimulating points of view….aaaahhh please come back if you deleted or deactivated it…. thanks : ) your biggest fan (okay this part might not be true but the rest is) 

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Vote -1 Vote +1The Undresser Reply:

lol, there is a huge link box to my facebook page (I guess you see this blog from a phone). http://facebook.com/theundresser313

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Vote -1 Vote +1kitty

9/7/2010



ROTFL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *spits on self*!

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Vote -1 Vote +1Gemma Jenkinson

9/30/2010



LOL, I love Sandals. Unlike garment fashion, footwear always fits!

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Vote -1 Vote +1Dg

9/30/2010



lmao @ fashion critique 

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