I May Have Met My Match

Many of us go through life longing to find people who simply understand us. I’ve had the priveledge of knowing quite a few women who shared the same mentality as I on a variety of subjects. The journalists and I usually agreed on politics, current events, and the state of Black America. L and I agreed on musical topics, cars, and shoes (until she started liking Nike Dunks). B and I agreed on financial issues (although she is 500x better with money than I am). Somehow though, through all of the women I’ve met in my life, I’ve never met a woman who dealt with women the same way I do, until Sunday…

For the purpose of this blog, I’ll call her Ellen, because she’s the gayest woman I know, other than Kay. Ellen is only partially gay though, as she does ocassionally enjoy the company of a male, as long as the male can accept that she prefers women and probably always will. She’s in her mid-twenties and career driven. I’d give her a 6.5/7 in the looks department. She drinks, A LOT…she smokes….TOO MUCH…and yet I still like hanging with her. She’s weaved out (I don’t think it should be legal to have that much fake hair on one head) and definitely carries the “hood” on her back. More like Keisha Cole than Frankie. She’s everything I wouldn’t typically even use my time on, but her best qualtiy is a great one…SHE GETS GIRLS…BAD ONES.

It’s 10:30 in the morning. I’m just getting in the house from a late night, multiple round session with another young lady who is starting to get on my nervesr. “What are you doing bestie?” asked a groggy voice on my phone. I look at the time on my laptop to make sure I wasn’t crazy. It’s literally 10:30 in the morning on a Sunday, why is this woman calling me? She is clearly not my bestfriend, nor am I hers, but she had to keep me in character so that the young lady laying next to her wouldn’t know what our relationship was. I could have sworn I heard her say, “come fuck us”, but perhaps that’s just what I wanted to hear. She gave me her address and my tired-over-used-dick and I made our way out to Taylor to watch Ellen and one of her play things have sex…or so I thought.

I get to the door and Ellen opens it butt naked. I take a seat in the living room, waiting for someone to invite me into the bedroom, but it never happened. Ellen comes out and debunks my original thoughts I about her and her friend. “She’s a lesbian,” she said to try to curtail my line of questioning. “And?” I responded. “Make her get naked and fuck her, I just want to watch,” I continued to no avail. Ellen went in the bathroom, with me following close behind. Her girl was in the bedroom getting dressed with the door closed. Somehow I managed to get an erection, so Ellen pulled it out and gave me some teaser head. When I left out the bathroom, I made my way to the bedroom, even though Ellen told me not to. I knocked on the door and ol’ girl told me to come in.

Her girl was a buttaface, which she later admitted. But yes o’ yes, this dyke had an ASS on her. She’s standing in the mirror, combing her hair and I just crack on her. “You only fuck with bitches?” I asked. She nodded her head yes. The thought of both of them made me hard, but I quickly saw that it wasn’t going to happen. I really didn’t care one way or the other, since I can already tell that Ellen could get this chick to do whatever she wants.

We jumped in her car, took buttaface home, and came back to the apartment. From there, we ate and talked shit…and the more she talked about women, the more I liked her. “Come give me some coochie,” she said to girl after girl as she called them in random order, while I tried my best not to start laughing out loud. It felt like I was hearing myself talk.

Afterwards, she finished up what she started in the bathroom. Somehow I managed to get it in two more times and I felt no qualms about it. She had to go, but she offered to let me sleep in her spot and leave whenever I wanted; just making sure I locked to door behind me, but I declined. I’m curious to see if we can really co-exist, given it’s no fun in knowing about her extra-curricular activities with ladies if I can’t participate. In that case, I might as well keep kicking it Kay, who is just as gay, but is much more respectful towards women and a solid 9 in the face.

Given all the stuff she’s into, do yall think she’s even worth me dealing with? Kay advises me to steer clear of her just because of the increased risk for stds. As if I didn’t mess with enough women, messing with a woman who messes with as many women as I do, who in turn have their own boyfriends/husbands/girlfriends is asking to enter a world that not even I am built for.

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Author: The Undresser

Black, Single, and Not Looking. Enjoys grilled salmon, cold glasses of water, and grocery shopping at Meijer. Likes women with nice ass to waist ratios, Reese Cups, and watching Real Time with Bill Maher. Dislikes cigarettes, littering, and disobedient children.

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