Was I Being A Punk…Or Just Being Smart?
I think to some extent, a lot of young black males, including myself, struggle with our male egos. There seems to always be someone, somewhere, who would like to prove that they are more masculine, tougher, and better than you for no apparent reason. I witnessed this first hand on a stroll around Northland Mall yesterday with a very pretty young lady (with whom I’ve never had sex with). I haven’t told anyone about this except two of my uncles, which were mixed on their opinions on how I handled this situation. So here’s what happened…
Nu-Nu is FINE. I deal with a lot of cute women, plenty of sexy women…but I must be honest and say women who I think are truly “FINE” are quite rare. She’s video model beautiful without makeup…who looks like she’d be the wife of some NBA player who only wants some arm candy. She has a lot of…”rules” that I simply don’t care to adhere to, or atleast act like I’d adhere to, so the chances of me fucking her are very slim.
Enough about her though…
I went over her house to chill on her super comfortable porch swing, when she noted she needed to pick up a dress for a family gathering. We went to Northland, a mall just outside of Detroit that I rarely visit, so she could go look around for one (aka waste 2 hours bullshitting around clothing racks). As usual, men and women starred at us (well, mainly her), gawking, drooling, etc…looking like they were ready to come over and push me out of the way for their chance at her. Everything was cool until we made our way past Lids, walking directly in front of a group of 5 or 6 dudes dressed in white t’s and Yays. Nobody really stood out, as they just appeared as a bunch of niggas from the eastside or something, but collectively, they looked like trouble. To be honest, when I saw them, I stood up a bit more straight…with my chest poked out, as to present some sort of “ain’t no hoes round this way niggas” attitude. But…..that pretty much didn’t mean shit to them.
“Damn baby, you RIGHT out here”, one of them said to the woman I was with. She looked at me and I laughed. That didn’t really offend me, but I did feel an altercation coming along just based on the group vs me. I’m sure if they would have been alone, or just 2 of them, they would have kept their mouths shuts, but you know a niggas best self-esteem boosters are alcohol and MORE NIGGAS. There is something appealing to some young black males about being “deep,” which I never understood. I’m the dude who’d much rather be around 10 women (hopefully bisexual), than 10 men.
Another voice came from the group, “see if you were with me, I’d never let another nigga talk to you while I’m with you.” The group laughed. I look over my shoulder to see if the group was following us…and of course, they were. Her body language clearly showed that she was irritated; both by their actions and the lack of mine. Now I’m at a mental crossroads. Here I am in Southfield, Glock 21 on my hip, mall damn near empty. I’m NOT trying to shoot anyone, not over some girl I’m not even fucking (as if I was, that would have made her special). Fighting will not end well. I can’t be jumped with a gun…I’d have to pull it out…right? Damn it.
“He aint built for you baby. light skin niggas soft,” the ring leader sputtered out. Now I’m offended. These dark-skinned niggas have that napoleon complex or something. I turned around, honestly nervous about the potential situation, but forget ol’ girl, these niggas were purposely disrespecting me. “Yall need to fall back,” I said sternly. That’s what they had been waiting for all day. “We ain’t talking to you nigga…hush,” one of the taller dudes said. My eyes grew large. I looked at ol’ girl with a face that read, “did this nigga just tell me to hush?” and she looked right back…”YUP,” without even opening her mouth. I look at the group again, I figure I could take 2 or 3 of them…more like 2. I stop, shortie was telling me to just come on, the niggas constantly talking….”we just fucking wit’ you nigga, don’t get yo ass beat.” Two of them started to walk closer to me and I looked around in the stores, noticing the employees starting to watch.
In an effort to diffuse the situation, I raised the right side of my shirt to reveal my gun holster. They paused. I didn’t want to do that. Anyone could have yelled out, “he’s got a gun,” then I would have had a lot more problems. The group leader, who was damn near the height of Kevin Hart, laughed and said, “you the only nigga wit’ a gun?” . Stupidly, I responded quickly, “Na, but I’m the only one who can aim.” Ol’ girl was starting to get scared, but fuck it, I’m committed to this now. The leader laughed again and said, “pussy nigga, we was just fucking with you.” They walked the other direction and her and I hit the exit.
She cursed me out in the car like I was the one who started the shit. When we got back to her house and told her brother, of course he said “I would have beat all their asses, fuck that shit”….yea ok. When I told my uncles, one said I should have walked away off rip the other said I should have stabbed them (yea he’s been in prison too long).
Do yall think I think I handled the situation ok? Pulling guns is a punk move (even though I never really brandished the weapon), but I did what I felt I needed to do to leave peacefully.
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Author: The Undresser
Black, Single, and Not Looking. Enjoys grilled salmon, cold glasses of water, and grocery shopping at Meijer. Likes women with nice ass to waist ratios, Reese Cups, and watching Real Time with Bill Maher. Dislikes cigarettes, littering, and disobedient children.
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49 Comments
8/11/2010
Let me see. Do I think you did the right thing? Yes and No. I think you probably should have ignored them..but the male ego being what it is…that was probably not going to happen…but, the gun holster move was a bit much….they hadn’t put a hand on you or threatened to do so…..that situation couldve very easily got outta hand…everybody could’ve showed gun holsters..now what? I don’t know my thinking is…don’t really go there with the gun if you aren’t prepared to shoot or feel a real threat to your life….
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August 12th, 2010 at 3:25 pm
I’m ALWAYS prepared to shoot, but yes, you’re right…my life was not threatened at that point.
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8/11/2010
I agree with queen t. You sayin the ring leader looked like kevin hart??? That’s a joke in itself. You coulda came back with some jokes and walked away. That whole situation could’ve ended differently. But its done now. Learn from it and move on.
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8/11/2010
I’m with your prison uncle Undresser and I say this only because you had a gun on you. I think you raised up too fast though and should’ve taken a couple deep breaths and let it slide. I’ve been in that situations and niggas with company will try you a long way but you have to have boundaries of disrespect. You are 100% right for checking you when the cat calls got you in the mix but the issue comes in with her safety. You had a civilian with you, even though her sexiness caused the conflict if shots rang out one of those cats may actually had shot her and you would be doing 25 to life over some pussy. Not cool, just take it as a karma lesson for next time to extend your patience just a few minutes more on crap like that.
I mean come on, if she’s that fine you knew deep down somebody was about to try you being in a place like that. Trophy wives usually come with a long bankroll and two big niggas to fend off those little assholes but us regular cats ain’t rolling like that. Count your blessings, that could have been real ugly.
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August 12th, 2010 at 3:27 pm
Greg….GREAT POINT. You know what, I never thought about all the other people in the mall that possibly would have been shot had something crazy happened. I think I’m going to just leave my gun at home for a minute.
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8/11/2010
you were absolutely right to think of your own well being first. The gunfire and fist throwing may have stroked your ego momentarily, but prison time would cut that ish in half, believe me. Shame on her for getting pissed at you after the ordeal… Was she mad because you participated or angry that you didn’t defend her cute girl honor?
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August 12th, 2010 at 3:41 pm
I think she was mad that I participated, but she could have been mad that I didn’t have a war of words with her.
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8/11/2010
I think you did what you had to do to protect yourself. Do I condone it? NO. I hate the fact that you even carry a weapon. But, I am also super glad that you do because you know I worry you’re gonna come across something too crazy to fight with your hands. You against 5 or 6? Shoot now and let dem boys sort ‘em out. I also understand why she was upset. If you ever pulled a gun with me around I’d eff you up later on. I don’t play with things that I can’t use/understand. Don’t want them around me.
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August 12th, 2010 at 3:40 pm
well don’t come around me. You can ask Karisha…I used to lay with her on her bed with my gun right on the dresser. After those niggas tried to steal my front bumper on the eastside….smh. But you know Poitree, I’ve been shot at 3 different times…I’m not playing with these niggas anymore. I don’t have it in the summer as much though, cause I’m always in those white t-shirts and wife beaters when it’s TOO DARN HOT.
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8/11/2010
I think you should have ignored them….ughhh people still go to Northland? Anyway, those young dudes weren’t gonna do shit no way. Not with Kevin Hart as the leader.
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August 12th, 2010 at 3:38 pm
lol…you know a lot of people play follow the leader.
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8/11/2010
I think yu shouldn’t have shown it. What did yu prove? That yu own a gun. I kno they pushed it further but all yu had to do was walk away. What were they gonna do? People talk bullshit if every time somebody talked shit to yu yu showed yur gun look where you’d be! Lol well it’s done now.
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8/11/2010
I wish you had a reality show, this would have been a GREAT episode.
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August 12th, 2010 at 3:37 pm
not if the camera men got shot up. But you know who really deserves a reality show though, that dude on youtube….hotdamnirock.
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August 13th, 2010 at 1:37 am
He does! He is hilarious!
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8/11/2010
LMAO!! Im sorry but that was so funny to me!! LOL @ when you gave her the “did he just tell me to hush face” and she looked like “YUP”. Im glad you stood your ground because the guys these days are CRAZY but im also glad the situation didnt get out of hand and nobody got hurt. LMAO @ your uncle saying you should have stabbed him………. My older neighbor just got out of jail and hes says “eff a gun I got a shank and im going for an organ” So not funny but heheheeee!!
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August 12th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Where did my uncle think that magical knife was going to come from? I do have a Smith & Wesson knife in the middle console of my car, but I rarely walk around with it. Matter of fact, the only time I have it is when I’m in places I can’t carry my firearm (campus, banks, daycare’s, etc…).
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8/11/2010
I feel u homie, u gotta do what u gotta do to protect yourself its not even about being a punk.
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8/11/2010
Showing the gun is OK if
1. it’s legally-owned and registered by you
&
2. your state allows folks with your paperwork/permit to carry concealed guns.
Else you just gave 5 opponents and a dozen bystanders info that they could relay to the cops with a single 911 phone call. Then you’d be in the clink for what? Some dumb stuff.
My brother is in the CIA, and even he has to abide by the concealed weapons laws when he’s traveling off-duty in various states.
I handle street people, pan handlers, aggressive cat callers, and shifty-eyed strangers who speak out of turn
with an all-purpose, fake, tight-lipped smile that does NOT reach my eyes
and a breezy “Oh no. Not today.”
Do NOT engage street/hood people or make eye contact. You do not know what they’re capable of.
If you have to use your weapon in self-defense, don’t be the 1st aggressor,
but do call 911 after you shoot someone.
(Don’t just shoot and run away. Guilty people flee the scene.).
Don’t fire a kill shot if a shot to the limb is sufficient to defend yourself.
Know your Miranda rights.
If you don’t care to learn your state’s gun laws, then just don’t carry a gun.
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8/11/2010
SHE should have pulled you away and insisted on leaving so that it looked like you were leaving because of her coaxing. Not because you were running, ur a man! lol You always ask questions u already know the answer to. Of course you shouldnt have shown your gun. You guys were exerting your dominance, trying to one-up each other. very gay
…deep sigh @ your ego’s
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August 12th, 2010 at 3:35 pm
lol @ her pulling me away. A lot of women I know would have done just that, but then again, this girl isn’t even my hangout buddy…I wonder if she knows I have this blog.
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8/12/2010
Man FUCK that chick.
She made you put your ass out there by seemingly instigating it. I would have walked away (which I think you should have too. Pussy is pussy. I’m not getting a beating because of it over some worthless niggas either) but i’ll be damned if a woman gets pissy cause I won’t fight for her for NO reason. Niggas didn’t do anything and now I gotta put myself on the line? Hell no. Words are words. If they was about snatching and grabing, then we have an issue. But if she is gonna act like she gotta show off what her man can do, she can go catch the bus. Fuck trying to impress these women on that mixed signal shit. How was she gonna essentially act like “baby show em what you can do” and then pop off when shit got real.
Save yourself man.
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August 12th, 2010 at 4:42 pm
How was she gonna essentially act like “baby show em what you can do” and then pop off when s**t got real.
One of the best statements made on this topic. I was thinking the same thing.
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August 12th, 2010 at 7:42 pm
@DappeR…I agree.. but I know it wasn’t about the girl. Not to UH or to the guys. Sure they wanted to get at her but they made it personal when they started in on him…basically at that point they were lookin for a way to start shyt w/ him and she was the icing on the cake. Uh, I think you did exactly what you were supposed to do…wether you shoulda pulled out your gun or not it’s not acceptable, they messed with you in the first place because they thought they could, what else would they do just because they think they can, you let em know its not gonna happen! Thats whats up. I’m not even gonna comment on the gun thing. But you had to maintain respect for yourself. Also, in response to this comment earlier about how your life wasn’t in danger, um, actually 6 guys against you…where i’m from, yea it is in danger if they decide they want to jump u…w/ or w/out a weapon. Btw, not that it matters to you..but even though she went off on u in the car, she woulda thought u punked out if you didn’t do anything.
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August 12th, 2010 at 7:00 pm
It wasn’t about her, it was about me…and their disrespect of me. I’m the last dude to fight over some chick, but once they start talking to me directly, it became a different issue. If he REALLY wanted to try to get at her, then he should have walked his scary ass up to her and just said something. “Excuse me, are yall together?”…..if so, “oh my bad man, you have a nice looking woman here.” if not…”oh ok, see I’m glad I came over….”
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August 12th, 2010 at 7:46 pm
I think we both know that wouldn’t happen…LOL I agree w/ your logic though.
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8/12/2010
I would’ve agreed with you, they were looking for trouble and you did what you had to do.
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8/12/2010
Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda…Everybody loves to talk about what they would do when placed in certain situations, but the fact is when sh*t hits the fan it’s a totally different story. I think you handled the situation the best you knew how considering the circumstances. Do i think you should have shown your gun? thats a toughie because it obviously helped you get out of the situation, but what if they laughed in your face and showed theirs and actually used them?
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August 12th, 2010 at 3:34 pm
you’re right. I thought about it for a long time…I even prayed on it…and I don’t really feel like I used my best judgment.
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8/12/2010
HONESTLY I DEAL WITH SHIT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME I FEEL LIKE U SHOULDNT OF SHOWED YOUR GUN … CUZ I ALWAYS TOLD THE PULL OUT IF U AINT ABOUT 2 USE IT CUZ ON THE REAL U GOT A CCW BUT ITS ILLEGAL 2 CARRY IT IN THE MALL AND U COULD OF BEEN ARRESTED BUT U GOTTA LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE U WITH A FEMALE THEY WANNA BE WITH U SHOULD LET YO SWAG AND HER WALKIN WIT U DO THE TALKING AND ANOTHER THING WAT IF THEY ALL WOULD OF HAD GUNS U WOULD OF BEEN FUCKED UP IN SO MANY WAYS
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August 12th, 2010 at 3:33 pm
it is NOT illegal to carry a firearm in the mall. I don’t know where you read that burg, but it’s not true at all. And I don’t have a CCW, a CCW is a gun charge in Michigan (look it up), I have a CPL. Anybody that has one can look on it and it clearly says “Concealed Pistol License.” There is nothing on there about a CCW. When you get caught with an illegal weapon or caught without a license to carry one, the police charge you with carrying a concealed weapon, CCW.
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8/12/2010
If anything, I think the move was a bit premature on your part.
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8/12/2010
Do I think you did the right thing? I am going to say overall yes, because you kept your composure for as long as you could, and you honestly didnt want anytihng to happen. But everyone reaches their limit at some point, and you reached yours in this situation. Your only human and a man at that.
I actually was in a similar situation when I was a teenager, with a group of females who decided they wanted to “jump” me at a McDonalds one day. Funny part about that, is I would see one or two of the females by themselves all of the time, and they would never say anything, wouldnt even look my way. But all of a sudden then they are 7 “deep” they want to try and start some stuff. So anyway, that afternoon, the word was they were “looking” for me, so I had a knife on me. I get to the McDonalds and there they are. So we all are just looking at eachother, and then this girl tries to hit me, so they of course they all try and jump in, I pull out my knife, and they all were ghost. Only thing I will say is that I have a feeling you already knew where this situation was headed, so I think you should have just told your lady friend its time to go a little sooner. Eff her for cursing you out, and eff her lyin ass brother, I hate it when people talk all big about stuff after the situation has already passed. And lls at your prison uncle… wild.
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August 12th, 2010 at 3:31 pm
my uncles are…crazy. Thankfully, as they grow older, they calm down.
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8/12/2010
If you have to bust a cap,
then it is what it is, ni**a.
I hope she let you hit them skinz after this, UH.
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August 12th, 2010 at 3:29 pm
I doubt I’ll be talking to her anymore after that. She probably doesn’t want to be around me either.
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8/12/2010
Two bitch moves in this scenario:
1) The bitch move was the haterade on a light skinned dude (whatever) being with a nice looking young lady. Any time niggas feel sorry for themselves or see a brother in a better situation than theirs, they feel obligated to bring him down if only to make themselves feel better. As Riley would call it: A Nigga Moment. Best way to defuse that nonsense is to walk away.
2) The second bitch move was the young lady giving you grief for a situation YOU didn’t start. She most likely has been in similar situations before and got gassed of the drama of dudes going back and forth over a nigga moment that SHE instigated (in a way). She could have easily grabbed your arm and kept it moving, shutting down the whole thing. Instead her ego got bruised.
3) Not a bitch move: Showing a gun. That just lets niggas know what type of altercation they MIGHT be about to get their asses into. They can step to it or they can walk. They’ve been informed! Now if you had pulled it and not bucked, they MIGHT be a different scenario. It would all depend on if and where hands were placed on you. I quote Andre 3000 on that one: “Don’t pull the thing out unless you plan to bang. Don’t even bang unless you plan to hit something.”
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August 12th, 2010 at 3:29 pm
lol, well said. I’m never ready to shoot…shit I’m definitely down for a fist fight, but not in Detroit where there are no such things as fist fights anymore. Even at school, if you beat somebody’s ass in the hallway, best believe, their whole neighborhood will be back after school.
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August 12th, 2010 at 7:54 pm
@ Mr. Ready set..thats gangsta LOL I agree w/ #2, idk if this is wrong or not but I know if I was in the situation I woulda got smart with them before it even got to that level …but it def coulda made it worse but after the second guy spoke directly to her regarding him, she coulda let him know what it is, but they needed to be put into their place one way or another…UH…um you’re never ready to shoot???
…The Undresser Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 3:25 pm
I’m ALWAYS prepared to shoot, but yes, you’re right…my life was not threatened at that point.
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August 13th, 2010 at 4:40 pm
I can’t speak for UH but I will comment on the two different answers to the seemingly same question. You can be PREPARED to shoot and NOT READY to shoot at the same time. If you have your heat with you and its loaded: you are prepared. At the same time, you really really…REALLY…don’t want to have to buck that shit. Pulling and using a gun (in my book that action is one and the same) should be the very very very last resort in a situation. Sadly like UH said, dudes are not down to go man-to-man these days. They either buck from the get go or come back with heat (or their boys with heat) at some later time.
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8/14/2010
If the woman isn’t your main girl or someone at least mildly important to you, I would have just ignored them, unless they put their hands on me or something(because I get REAL annoyed REAL quick when another dude touches me with animosity). Risking getting arrested and possibly losing everything you worked for up to this point in your life, or going through the s**tload of red tape because of some hood n***a that’s not anything worth a damn, isn’t worth it. Then again, I don’t have any ego, so I’d just let anyone say anything and not really be offended or care about it, which is something you just can’t do. I do agree that the gun was a bit much, but necessary in order to avoid a provocation. That’s the only language a n***a can understand in order to ascertain your intentions.
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8/14/2010
So looking back at this, how do you think you should have handled it? What would you do differently, besides not take her to the mall? Lol, If that fight woulda broke out u would have ended up looking like ur animated face pic 4real. I glad it didn’t go there.
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8/15/2010
“It’s sad another black man taking by a black hand” -J. Budden
Stop the violence!
I think she should’ve handled it. She couldve deaded the dudes from jump. She allowed the disrespect.
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August 15th, 2010 at 11:27 am
I agree cause it’s not like they would have attempted to beat her ass. Or she coulda said some off the wall mess to them and they would have disrespected even more. It more of a case of the wrong place, wrong time than anything.
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8/15/2010
truthfully, it would have been stupid for you to pull out a gun, in broad day light in a mall over a girl who isnt that special to you. that incident in time could have changed your whole life, over stupid words probably some illiterate low lifes said, im so certain you are smarter than that. plus the threat of taking another persons life or yours is not worth it over any situation like that. would you male ego console you while you are in jail? or would it console your family while you might be dead? we black men need to think out of the box and sometimes keep our bruised egos in the box from time to time. At the end of the day, it boils down to whats logical, not what your emotions tell you to do.
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8/26/2010
IDK if you still respond to the comments on this topic. But I feel like no one can really comment unless actually in that situation. Everyone and every situation is different. I personally say I wouldn’t have done the same. But being faced with a group of people and not just one or two, i probably would have felt threatened and done the same. No one got hurt. And really whose to say although they didn’t verbally threaten you, one of them something couldn’t have happened. There could have been one in the group who could have been thinking “fuck it” and just hit you suddenly. then of course the rest would have jumped in that. So i understand why you reacted the way you did.
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8/31/2010
Hm, I think that it might not have been the smartest thing to do. Suppose they had come back and tried to harm you. Some people are just ignorant and you have to know when to walk away from a situation. Though it did get them to back off, all in all you had the lady on your arm and since that’s what seemed to cause all the problems. All you had to do was walk away and leave them looking dumbfounded.
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9/5/2010
yu handled them niqqas just fine! Yeah , yu could have fauqht bt we all knw how that would have ended up! Yu had to do what yu had to do.
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9/21/2010
I would have done the same thing! There was no way you could have fought all those dudes by yourself. The gun is the great equalizer!
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