It’s Your Anniversary….AND?
One of my past associates recently sent me a text that said, “you’re a lonely hater.” I looked up lonely on webster.com and I can say, I’m DEFINITELY not that. I obviously don’t hate people and I’d like to see everyone happy to be honest, unless their happiness is based on my misery. Her comment stemmed from a lack of reaction I had to her announcement of her and her “boyfriend” being together for 2 years; saying that he’d “finally” proposed to her. Was I supposed to light up with energy on the phone? I had to leave her with this, “Do you know how many people have been working at the same job for 10 years…and THEY HATE IT, but they stay because they feel they have to?”…
Your anniversaries mean nothing to me. I’m aware that statement sounds mean, but there’s some logic behind it. I don’t know what you’re going through behind closed doors. Nine times out of ten, it’s a bunch of stuff that I’d never put up with, so I can’t act like you’ve accomplished something just because you’re willing to look the other way compromise on issues I wouldn’t. There are women who were physically and mentally abused in their relationship and they want me to give them kudos for reaching that decade mark. Women who took back men who they caught cheating on them…and ARE STILL CHEATING ON THEM…should I be saying “awwww”?
As for this girl…besides me not even acknowledging “boyfriend/girlfriend” as a real title of anything of significance, the woman was having sex with me while she had this “boyfriend” of hers. I wonder does her fiancee know that hours before he took her to Vegas for the first time, she had her mouth wrapped around my pleasure stick? I mean, he’s marrying a liar and a cheater…yet I’m supposed to clap? I’m not judging her single history; as we all know I’d never be married if my future wife was to judge mines, rather I’m putting emphasis on a time in a committed relationship where she’s obviously not committed. To the fellas, is that this woman really loves you, or is that the man that she really wanted to be with wouldn’t ‘act right’, so she settled for you? Is that cause for celebration?
Some have said I should not speak on the issue because I know nothing about being in a committed relationship, which is true, yet I know, if someone in that relationship isn’t committed then…there is no COMMITTED relationship. I realize I don’t know what it takes to make a marriage work, but from the outside looking in, in a lot of windows that I can see through, it seems like a bunch of people just who disguise putting up with bullshit as “making it work.” People put up with the darnest stuff just to say they are with someone. I can afford to be picky, WE ALL CAN, so why not be happy with the person you’re going to be spending so much of your time with?
Another woman and her man have been together for a year or so. She’s bisexual and he doesn’t like bisexual women, so of course, she’d hidden it from him. She claims that she is happy, but how? She’s fiending for the touch of another woman. She’s reading my blogs about threesomes, telling me it’s giving her flashbacks. Then she asked me to come to her wedding…excuse me? What am I supposed to be supporting here? A big ass lie. I’m straight on that.
There are women who I use to mess with who now have boyfriends, fiancees, and husbands, asking me to do everything from come stroke them on the low, to find them a woman to eat their boxes…but ask me to keep it discreet because their significant other reads this blog. But I’m the one who isn’t/wasn’t shit? They are supposed to be committed to the men who people pat on the back and say, “You’re such a good dude. Such a smart man.” These are the dudes who leave comments saying, “You could never have a woman like mine. You could never have a woman of class. Boys like you give black men a bad name.” O’ silly boy, if I didn’t respect your woman as much as I’d do, I’d make you cry. But yet for some reason, the man who so many call rude, selfish, disrespectful, and mean, has yet to let the CATS out of the bag. If you opened your girls closet, our skeletons would be in there having sex.
I can see that this blog entry is starting to lose focus, so I’ll sum this up. I’m not a hater. I’m happy for people who are GENUINELY HAPPY, but I refuse to play like I’m happy just because you say you’ve been with someone for X amount of time. A lot of couples are like Janet and Malik in Why Did I Get Married 2…
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Author: The Undresser
Black, Single, and Not Looking. Enjoys grilled salmon, cold glasses of water, and grocery shopping at Meijer. Likes women with nice ass to waist ratios, Reese Cups, and watching Real Time with Bill Maher. Dislikes cigarettes, littering, and disobedient children.
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36 Comments
8/5/2010
Your a lonley hater & it sounds like you have deep rooted issues about relationships.. Damn is it so hard to say ” congrats ” & move on?
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August 5th, 2010 at 11:14 am
I guess you haven’t seen the 30 other post I made about congratulating folks. Ask my ex’s…old mains…whomever. I wish the best to everyone.
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August 5th, 2010 at 11:30 am
To be honest I haven’t. I’m just saying somethings aren’t worth arguing over!
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8/5/2010
Hmm … Ok I can understand where your coming from bout how she still fxcks with you and then goes to him that I can understand but maybe they have a good relationship besides that. Me honestly I wouldn’t want to marry a cheater but then you have to think he don’t know she creeping so he thinks everything is all good. But congrats to her lol
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August 5th, 2010 at 11:52 am
I’m not mad about a relationship…I just don’t understand why she wasn’t me to acknowledge it. It’s not like she’s a woman I really sat back and experienced life with. We just had a few cool convos and had sex 3 or 4 times. I could see if he was the only bragging…cause to my knowledge, dude has been good to her…but she’s asking as if she really deserves a “good man” or something. The whole basis of their relationship is a lie…but who knows, she could tell him the truth and he could still want to marry her. Why not give him that information and let him make the decision though?
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August 5th, 2010 at 11:58 am
Maybe it’s a ” Ha! I’m getting married I don’t need you! Aren’t you happy?” kinda thing & maybe she was honest with him hell maybe they cheating on each other. If he was any kind of a good man I wouldn’t cheat on him with someone who has no intentions on making me his one and only ( no offense )
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August 5th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
No offense taken…at all. Any woman who cheats on a good dude (by good I just mean one that loves her, is there for her, and only want to be with her) for me is retarded. Well, unless she was in love with me prior to meeting him…but in this case, NO. Why would you want to brag to me, as if I’m bothered that some dude is taking a cheating casual sex partner away? lol @ cheating on eachother. Why cheat? If you’re not happy or satisfied, then just leave. And bad sex is NO EXCUSE, you better get in there and work at it.
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August 10th, 2010 at 9:56 am
you stated “Any woman who cheats on a good dude (by good I just mean one that loves her, is there for her, and only want to be with her) for me is retarded”….does the same statement not apply to you? if you have these good “mains” that hold those characteristics then what is your purpose for the side booty hoes?
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August 11th, 2010 at 1:25 pm
The difference is, a woman can only cheat on a man if she is with him (they have both agreed to be in a committed relationship with eachother). I am NOT committed to anyone, in any way, shape, form, or fashion.
8/5/2010
if it weren’t for your ways, you’d be the man for me lol. I completely agree. A marriage that is for show is not an accomplishment. True and lasting happiness are accomplishments. Never could understand why women, or men, would put up with people who they know don’t love them. Just take your time, get your stuff together and be out. I do believe in second chances, but people know when their partners just have no respect for them or the rrlationship. My parents’ marriage is for show and is the reason why I am wary about marriage. The stuff people do in the name of love!
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August 5th, 2010 at 1:19 pm
finally someone who isn’t dick riding, but still agrees with the point of what I’m saying. lol @ my ways…you know you’re not ready for me Brooklyn.
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8/5/2010
My phone won’t let me reply to any posts… so one: I’m not even going to ask how you know I’m from brooklyn. Two: I wouldn’t say I’m not ready for you. I have gone through that phase of my life. If ever I am ever back in that phase then I would consider it. At least I would know what you do, instead of not knowing. That statement goes both ways because you still expose yourself to a lot of std’s in my opinion. But then again, what do I really know about you… You do amuse me though (not meant in any negative manner).
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August 5th, 2010 at 2:22 pm
I just took a wild guess on the Brooklyn thing, lol. Unfortunately, phones don’t let me lookup ip addresses. I wasn’t serious miss, I’m almost at the point where I’m done meeting new women….
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8/5/2010
“If you opened your girls closet, our skeletons would be in there having sex.” Classic!
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August 5th, 2010 at 2:40 pm
that was wavy wasn’t it, lol. WTF does wavy mean? lol
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8/5/2010
Good guess with the brooklyn. And generally speaking, you will always meet new women. whether or not you are the one doing the approaching is a different case. And I really felt old with you calling me miss lol. I’m ot complaining thought because it wasn’t disrespectful.
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August 5th, 2010 at 4:06 pm
lol, I’m not the “baby”, “boo” type. I’m more like “darling”, “miss”, etc… depending on who I’m talking to.
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8/5/2010
I literally laughed out loud @ “If you opened your girls closet, our skeletons would be in there having sex”
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August 5th, 2010 at 4:07 pm
guess that will be my status on FB one day, lol
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August 5th, 2010 at 6:21 pm
Hhhmmm, pls do share
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8/5/2010
I don’t really think she was expecting you to say woohoo or do a jig..I think she was just trying to get a reaction of some kind from you..and she got it. Your over-reaction was exactly what she was hoping for….u couldve just said “congratulations”…but you went off on a tangent of explaining how and why her anniversary means nothing..this that and the third….it just comes off like it meant a little more than nothing to you:-) But, on another note that reference about skeletons in the closet was hilarious!
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August 6th, 2010 at 3:06 am
I didn’t say anything to her…that’s what I was thinking.
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8/5/2010
The word “boo” should be erased off the face of the earth. Its so funny how you can sound like a gentleman. I don’t know how you are but I have often been referred to as “coldhearted” when in fact I am very loving and caring. Maybe you are a gentleman and a romantic?? I can’t wait for the day when this blog becomes what you really are. I wish I knew you so I could study you and not just your words. But then you’ve said you aren’t really into being just friends with females. If only…
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8/6/2010
Man, I’m going to say this… anybody cheating is lacking something so why accept the ring. I think females and males are so desperate to not become a statistic(single) they settle for anything. All relationships have problems but its a really big problem if you have to go out and cheat. You do not have to congratulate her for nothing, especially if she be banging you. You know what it is with her, why would you give her props on commitment if you know she’s not commited?
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8/6/2010
i agree, there’s so much pressure (both real and imagined) to be in a relationship or at least attached to someone for an extended amount of time to be considered desirable. and if your not, than any critical comment you make about someone’s relationship is called being a hater bc “you don’t have what they have.” its crazy because i have a friend who cheated on her boyfriend, and has let him verbally abuse her for like 3 yrs now because of it, has gone through an abortion for him and they spend all their time going through each other’s emails, fbs etc and trying to control each other. when i ask her why she still stays she says since theyve been together so long she loves him and cant be with anyone else. smh. and i know plenty of other “Relationships” who go thru similar things. its terrible.
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8/6/2010
1st time commenting, but i read your blog all the time. Do you think that a woman whom you can respect would chose to be in a serious relationship with you? This is a real question, I am not trying to be confrontational. This is where I am coming from. You seem very picky about the women you respect; honesty and loyalty, etc. but id assume that a woman who is willing to be honest and loyal to you would definately NOT be respecting herself by being with a man who openly has sex with other women and refuses to comit. Do you think you could respect a woman who is accepting of the fact that you have sex with other women? Or have you settled with the reality that the women who try this lifestyle with you for a period eventually always leave.
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August 6th, 2010 at 6:09 pm
Yes…but only if I had proven that I’d honestly ready to be in one. I KNOW that no woman that I respect and actually like will really be ok with my lifestyle in her heart. She may act like she is ok with it for a certain amount of time, but eventually, she will voice her feelings and say “it’s either them or me.” As you stated in your last sentence, I’ve acknowledged that all the women I think were actually good for me (Bubbles, L, Jabs, Angie, etc..) will go on and be with another man that they feel will be with only them. I’m coming to the point where I’m getting tired of jumpoffs though; women don’t offer anything of substance to my life besides sexual favors. I rather be with women I actually like outside of sex…I’m tired of the red light stories. When you pick a good woman to be involved with, no matter what happens (as long as you don’t grossly mistreat her), she’ll be down to help you out. She might not give you head anymore, but if you really do need her help…she’ll try to be there…I like that.
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8/6/2010
I love all your blogs, and I do agree with your response to the situation…
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8/7/2010
“If you opened your girls closet, our skeletons would be in there having sex.” That one line says it all.
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8/7/2010
I think you are very confused about relationships period lol. You make up your own definitions of “relationships” and you justify your actions just so they can seem acceptable. Great blog though ; )
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August 8th, 2010 at 11:28 am
if it’s one thing I could care less about, it’s people acceptance of a lifestyle that isn’t “right” to begin with. My definition of a relationship is that of webster.com. You have a relationship with everyone you know…the type of relationship is what people want to call it, but there is guide to it. Any two people can have any type of variation of a relation and it is not up to anyone outside of that to understand it.
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8/9/2010
HHMMM GOOD ENTRY….
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8/9/2010
sometimes humoring a person can be a act of charity. This girl was clearly seeking validation, which (to me) is indicative of a deep seated insecurity. Perhaps she secretly wishes it was YOUR 5 karat diamond that was crowning her ring finger, perhaps not; either way, a nod and a smile would not have killed either of you. That said, I DO agree that marriage is a milestone which many have cheapened false hopes and feigned emotion. BUT… that’s just me LOL
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8/10/2010
I just started reading this blog a couple days ago and I’m like yo this like the funniest shit I ever read and I’m listening to B.O.T.S Ludacris shawna and I-20 and I’m like this shit should be this nigga theme song it’s like they rappin about some of the shit you go through but except shawna part her part the perfect example of a hoodrat luda was goin in
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9/1/2010
Wow—if everything you say is true then all relationships are based on lies you see because everybody is going to have to put up with something at one point or the other. Even if its the old pet peeve “he won’t pick his socks up off the floor”. Thats kind of what relationships are–finding the good with dealing with those little idiosyncrasies.
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September 2nd, 2010 at 11:52 am
I NEVER said all relationships are based on that. Good relationships, in my opinion, are based off compromise. But there are SOME relationships where someone clearly isn’t happy, based on their own standards, not mine, yet they stay in them just for the status.
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