Downtown: The Good & The Bad

I’ve been going to the riverfront for 6 years now, ever since I first moved near Wayne State University. I’ve been down there with almost every woman I’ve ever actually liked and it’s one of the best free places where a man can take a woman to get some good conversation and laughs. After Kwame and Co. decided to publicize the “River Days” event, the river front has become the “Nigga Front”. From rats in packs to large groups of niggas and nigglets in white t-shirts smoking weed, the entire dynamic has changed. It used to just be couples, white folks, and old folks….YOU CAN’T GO WRONG WITH THAT COMBINATION. Niggas….bring police and you can go VERY WRONG WITH THAT COMBINATION.

On this trip downtown, I was accompanied by a pretty, petite, 18 year-old former prom queen who loves Young Jeezy’s music. YES!!! As we made our way down Jefferson nodding our heads to “Insane”, I’m checking her outfit. Nice and simple. She’s full of herself and I’ve never been the one to shy away from those that most men would call conceited. “So you think you’re fly?,” I asked while giving my ears some rest from the constant vibrations from the JL Audio subs. “Think? I know I’m fly,” she snapped back. I proceeded to smile and turn the music back up.

I’m getting ready to park, noticing a long line of cars parked on a street where I’ve never parked before. See, 5 years ago, you could park ANYWHERE downtown, as long as you weren’t in front of a fire hydrant. Since the niggas came though, they put “No Parking” signs everywhere and closed the River Walk at 10 p.m. (You can get to the river at multiple locations, it’s just that the River Walk is the nicest place to sit.) Anyway, I parked my car, and my lil’ lady associate and I took a stroll. This is very familiar for me, as I’ve been down there more than the security guards that patrol the area. We’re sitting down, laughing at dudes we overhear talking about how many “hoes” they get, as they continue to walk past all of the pretty girls right in front of them (yea right). We compare the booties of various women, laugh at people who put hair bows on their lil’ gay dogs, and watch the dudes wink at her on the low. People are funny.

Back to Lil Bit and I…we’re getting along great. She’s young and able to think on her own, which is a pleasant change from the last two 18 yr-old’s I met, who both seemed to have their brains ran by the powers that be over at Viacom (MTV, VH1, & BET). We walked around much of downtown getting to know each other…never once was she rude with incoming texts or calls.

It was getting pretty late, so I decided to head back to my car….only, I didn’t see my car. I started hitting the lock button on my keypad to let me know it was nearby, but I didn’t hear the beep. Could these niggas possibly have stolen my car? My uncle’s Regal was stolen downtown after I left it parked at the River Rock years ago. Flashbacks. We walked around to the street I was sure I parked on, only to find a dozen or so police officers choppin’ it up. I STRONGLY DISLIKE POLICE OFFICERS; so the fact that they were all standing where my car USED to be, didn’t make me happy. “Is this a no parking zone?” I asked one of the cops in the passenger seat. “Yup,” he answered smartly while laughing with his partner. I wanted to say, “fuck yall doing in there, jacking eachother off?”…but I didn’t…of course. One of the other cops came and gave me the card to the local tow yard where my car was. As I’m calling the number, another tow truck came and got a silver Maserati. They must have towed every car out there, at $255 a pop. Talk about hitting a lick.

Through all of this nonsense, the girl I was with never fluttered. She didn’t complain, bitch, or moan…actually, she was rather supportive. I called various people to vent about the situation while she and I walked side by side anxiously looking for a bathroom. 30 minutes later, after we’d walked all through the RenCen, we finally found one. Right on time, my uncle picked us up as we came out.

Now I’m taking her back home and she’s still being pretty; smiling and singing. Unfortunately, I had to listen to whatever was on 97.9 because I didn’t have my car. When we got back to her house, she gave me a hug and I asked if I could have a glass of water. Well, that turned into sitting on her couch, then sitting on her bed, a lot of touching…only to be stopped by the flowing traffic of mother in and out of the house. I wanted her, but this wasn’t the time or place, so I finally got up and left.

I don’t think I’ve “liked” a girl I met who was under 21 in years, so this has somewhat restored my faith in the “Souljah Boy Generation.” I think she’s fly and cute, so I’m going to let her and Barbie hang and see if they vibe. I need two more lil’ bad chicks to get some money out of these dudes.

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Author: The Undresser

Black, Single, and Not Looking. Enjoys grilled salmon, cold glasses of water, and grocery shopping at Meijer. Likes women with nice ass to waist ratios, Reese Cups, and watching Real Time with Bill Maher. Dislikes cigarettes, littering, and disobedient children.

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