No Head, STILL NO SERVICE
No Head? Still No Service
I don’t know why these women think I’m pressed to get their box. I rather have phone sex with my Chicago lady then sit up with some chick who is talking about she’s not giving me any head. You only get one time to tell me, “I don’t give head to just anybody,” before I politely ask you to exit my vehicle and you better not slam my door.
Seven or eight months ago, I hit some chick that worked in downtown Detroit for some cleaning company. We only had sex once, but I went over her house another time and she gave me head on some random block. I tried to hit it again, but she was playing, so you know…NEXT. Then I met another light-skin chick with a stupid booty (both of them had A-grade bubbles), who worked with her, so I tried to get on her. She gave me her number, but nothing ever popped off. I came to find out that they were friends, but I really didn’t care.
So I’m chilling at home, trying to see Raven, but she’s playing. Next up, a few new chicks, but none of them are talking about anything and bumble bee wouldn’t be free until well after my bed time. So I took it as a sign that I should take my ass home and lay down. Then I get a text from the light-skin chick asking what I had up for the night. The next text said “let me see a picture of your dick.” I declined. Well I didn’t say no, I just didn’t send it. I simply responded, if you want to see it, meet me at Campus Martius. To my surprise she said, “on my way.”
Now we’re a few blocks down from Tiger Stadium on Woodward, standing outside of our cars talking about her girl. “She said you were on her head,” she blasted. I looked her weird like she was speaking a foreign language. There are probably 5 women in this world who could ever say I was “on their head” and trust me, this girl was NOT one of them. Of course I sent her text about the getting the box, but what she failed to realize was that I was sending text to 9 other women at the same time. Plus she was always at her grandma’s house, where she always seemed to be, was just around the corner; Convenient Pussy. Then her girl went on to tell me that she already knew I had sex with her girl, but she couldn’t really remember because her girl had told her about “so many” dudes she’d slept with. I’m thinking in my mind, ‘some friend this bitch is’. As far as I’m concerned, both of em’ are easier than that red Staples button. “Don’t tell her I came to see you,” she said with concern. I don’t even know her girls name anymore, let alone her phone number.
Now we’re sitting in the car and she’s asking to see my dick, so I tell her to pull it out. She’s talking that good shit, like yea, “let’s get it in.” Naturally, my first request is for head and she denies me. “I don’t just suck anybody’s dick,” she said. “I really could care less about everyone else, I’m talking about me,” I responded. She still wouldn’t suck it and I got real full of myself. I wanted to say, “bitch, I’m the Undresser,” as if my name should ring bells from 7 Mile to Belle Isle. In reality, as one of my ex’s told me at Meijer the other day, “you don’t look like ‘the Undresser’,” a chick wouldn’t pick me out of a lineup as a dude who gets it in like that. “You’re used to getting everything you ask for aren’t you?” she asked. There is no way I was going to stroke her when she was talking about how much better she was then her girl, without getting some head. Atleast her girl went to work in the front seat.
By the time, I wanted to hit, but my pride wouldn’t let me. I will not fold, especially not for some random chick who asked ME to fuck her. Too many niggas have obviously gassed this chick up, but I had to let her know that the only reason I was even with her was because the woman I really wanted to be with is unavailable. She probably could have said the same thing back to me, but she just sat back, like she was about to cry. I drove her back down the street to her car and headed on home.
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Author: The Undresser
Black, Single, and Not Looking. Enjoys grilled salmon, cold glasses of water, and grocery shopping at Meijer. Likes women with nice ass to waist ratios, Reese Cups, and watching Real Time with Bill Maher. Dislikes cigarettes, littering, and disobedient children.
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66 Comments
6/3/2010
Chicago!
lol… to bad it ain’t me
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6/3/2010
Damn, that was funny LOL
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6/3/2010
funny you say too many niggas gassed her up, how ironic, the same could be said about you lol
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June 3rd, 2010 at 3:04 pm
^ that’s some truth.com
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June 3rd, 2010 at 8:11 pm
I’m not gassed up.
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June 3rd, 2010 at 10:31 pm
haha well the way u blog seems to scream it. dont get me wrong, i like reading your
blog bc it’s entertaining but i’m not even sure why chicks even deal with you. ur rude,
judgemental, and self centered. u quick to tell a chick u won’t go down, but you’ll fuck
but get your panties in a bunch if a chick feels the same way about u. Where they
do that at? u must’ve had a hard childhood cause it seems like you’re family never taught
you the value of women, sex or relationships in general. u basically seem like a bougie hoodbooger. (oxymoron right?) boy u still dont even know ur ass from ur elbows.
All these standards and for what? u never even have a monogamous relationship so why does it matter if a chick had a father, smokes or drinks? bottom line, any self respecting woman would never deal with u, so all the standards u set are in vain. U basically pray upon insecure women who hope to change you & use sex as validation.
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June 3rd, 2010 at 10:59 pm
and the saddest part is that you don’t even have the intellectual capacity to be empathetic towards the women you exploit. You throw them away like trash and pat yourself on the back for being some type of “playa” and being “heartless.” I don’t understand what makes you believe that these are desirable qualities to have as a human being. It’s like you’re some type of sociopath. I hope that when you’re alone you at least contemplate your actions, even if you don’t respond to this post.
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June 4th, 2010 at 1:14 am
pat myself on the back? When? When do I say I deserve some type of kudos? “Self respecting females”……women are a trip. Somehow, magically, everyone woman except YOU has low self esteem. As if all the women of the world who I’ve had sex with, 75% you have never read a blog about or heard of, are searching for acceptance from lil’ ol’ me. I don’t do shit but walk away from women not doing what I want, there’s no drama with it. I just leave, or dare I say it, NOT HAVE SEX WITH THEM…the world is really over, right? lol.
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June 4th, 2010 at 5:05 am
Damnnnnnn this is the truth. alrightythen hit the nail on the head. Hopefully one day you will “grow” out of this but if not oh well
ignorance is bliss.
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June 4th, 2010 at 1:10 am
that was lot, lol. Maybe you need a blog to let all of your feelings out.
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6/3/2010
Smhhhh! It just head. These bitches is so old scool..but they’ll be quick to go raw tho smh. Backwards thugs. Ha.
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June 3rd, 2010 at 8:10 pm
that’s what I’m saying man.
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6/3/2010
question…why don’t u give head?
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June 4th, 2010 at 1:08 am
I do, I just don’t do it often and I damn sure don’t do it to everyone. More like 2%.
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6/3/2010
Why do you have your balls in a bunch?! Would you eat her pussy? No! So why kick her out when she won’t suck u up? If it’s just head why don’t yu return the favor? Get over it
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June 4th, 2010 at 1:09 am
because I can.
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6/4/2010
“You only get one time to tell me, “I don’t give head to just anybody,” before I politely ask you to exit my vehicle and you better not slam my door.”
Who has sex in cars after graduating from high school?
Dude. It’s called a bed.
You’re only gonna pull low budg chickenheads offering them your dick to suck in the back seat of a car. But maybe you’re into those types of women?
“I went over her house”
To. You went over to her house.
Great stories. Keep them coming!
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June 4th, 2010 at 1:17 am
as if everyone was fucked in the backseat the first night I met her, lol. Some of yall are the biggest bunch of selective readers I’ve ever heard of. It’s almost sad. Somehow the blogs about the ladies that I took out and held a door or two for got passed up. And beds are played out. I’ve broken beds, been there, done that….hundreds of times.
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June 4th, 2010 at 3:09 am
lmao. In last week’s read, you gave that lady hell before you opened that door. I think it’s the whole “bitch, I’m the Undresser” that has everyone rowdy this week though.
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June 4th, 2010 at 9:38 am
I wasn’t OVERLY opening doors for women way before I had a blog. It’s my belief system, that opening doors doesn’t make you and more or less of a man. You should open doors because you got their first, it’s common courtesy for all people.
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6/4/2010
@allrightythen….these chicks put themselves in the position to be smutted out. What should he have done? Taken her out and treated her like a lady?? No!! As a woman, I totally disagree with UH’s lifestyle but from what he writes, he’s not gassing these chicks up, not giving any false hope, so you can’t be mad at that. if he’s letting them know the situation from the beginning, its up to the girl if she wants to deal with it. Any bad feeling she has after that is on her!! Period.
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June 4th, 2010 at 1:20 am
thank you. And every woman I deal with did not get “smutted” out. 20 blogs ago, every commenter was going crazy because I ate some girl out from my bank….next thing i know, there are questions asking why don’t I eat the box. smh.
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June 4th, 2010 at 4:56 am
Your commenters are in an uproar because of the attitude. Who the fuck is the undresser? Because you bed a bunch of desperate and dumb girls makes you someone special enough to be hypocritcal and it be ok? Um no! Just because she has a phat ass, perfect body, or is in college/has a respected job does not make her a quality woman. You will NEVER know what a quality woman is because *newsflash* those type of women will stay away from you!! i agree with alrightythen, i read your blog because its entertaining…
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June 4th, 2010 at 9:36 am
“quality woman” lol. You have no idea …. because you read about who I did….so how about who I did and never talked about? What is a quality woman? Whatever little stats you can come up with, I’ve had dozens that fit it. Did they stay forever? of course not. But I don’t walk up to women like “yea, I fucked 10 girls this week.” Nobody would go for that bullshit.
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6/4/2010
but the amount of disrespect and how “gassed up” that was written completely turned me off! I lmao when I read that the female was “gassed up” and “bitch im the undresser”. Like who the fuck is that? You are what you fuck! A whole bunch of visually appealing low self esteemed hoes that has very little mental, spiritual, or emotional strength to stay away a NOBODY like yourself.
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June 4th, 2010 at 9:34 am
I said that ‘bitch I’m the undresser’ for comedic purposes. That’s why it was followed by “as if I was…..”. I had a girl on here before, who said the same shit about all the other girls I had sex with, then she found out who I was in real life and I fucked her too. But of course, I never treated her like she thought I treated all women, so she had no idea.
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6/4/2010
dang you are getting worse and worse.
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6/4/2010
I don’t get it…UH’s actions/lifestyle is nothing new. I’m CERTAIN that the majority of the woman commenting know a man who’s the same, if not worse than UH (when it comes down to dealing with women) but he’s just not blogging about it. Be for real.
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June 4th, 2010 at 9:32 am
exactly
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6/4/2010
The fact UH tells women how it is i can respect that he is upfront and honest. I think this whole blog is a boost for his ego. These women he is using are using him as well but each for different reasons. The women they seeem to have it together, but the truth is its a front. Honestly when I first started reading before there was a time where the blog was not in existance UH seemed very different. To me he doesnt even sound like the same person. He seems more disrespectuful. In my opinion Most women think sex = love and I think that is what the women he sleeps with are actually looking for. His post about the woman that couldnt as he put it “take dick”, why were you so angry with her? Basically heacted like a spoiled child putting her on blast like that, even after she asked what she could do to be better. UH calls himself a man but he acts like a little boy. I wish women would wake up and realize sex is just sex and dudes like UH are just out for one thing and they deseerve better. Honestly with UH’s actions you would think he’d only attract hood rats. I really think UH isnt all that happy with who he is and honestly I think he is insecure. I dont think ill be returning to read this blog anymore, UH just really turned me off with putting that chick on blast like that for nothing more then her physically being unable to handle you.
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June 4th, 2010 at 9:40 am
now that’s what I like to read. When someone doesn’t like something, they just don’t read it.
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6/4/2010
I don’t understand the uproar. Hasn’t he said “No head…No service.” before? I thought this was a post to reiterate a previous point he’s made. I find it hilarious that some of you are “reprimanding” uH because of what he TELLS you…when you all have boyfriends/husbands/friends you’re fucking that wouldn’t tell you the truth if it slapped you in the face. It seems like some women would rather be lied to…to employ selective hearing and comprehension when it comes to dealing with men. Others appreciate honesty….even when it’s not what you want to hear. So what you’re saying is “uH only messes with smuts that have low self esteem because no self-respecting woman would respond to his vulgarity”…” what I’m hearing is “A man has to get me a 2 for 20 meal at Applebee’s and tell me some good shit before I let him fuck.”
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June 5th, 2010 at 8:23 pm
LMAO not 2 for 20 at applebee’s *dead* funny I hear the same thing….
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6/4/2010
Yeah UH you are getting a little mean in your old age. LoL! You’re like the Lil Duval of women now. But, to tell the truth the only time I really, really, really felt you were disrespectful was in the blog about men knowing that you had s*x with their girl. That was wrong on so many levels. I agree with some of the comments above. If a girl puts herself out in a certain way can anyone really be mad when the results come back negative?
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June 5th, 2010 at 11:29 am
lol, that was meant to be funny.
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June 5th, 2010 at 4:41 pm
I’m just waiting on you to start calling some of these girls “basic.” SWBH!!!!
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6/4/2010
Damn Boo, they going hard on you this time. Hope it don’t kill ur spirit. Some of us knw who u are on a (personal level) and understand where ur coming from.. Next time follow ur first mind should of (took ur ass to bed) and all of this could of been avoided. I’m sure this not the first time a chick wouldn’t do what u want and it’s not the last time. This shit……. is crazy lmao…….
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June 5th, 2010 at 11:29 am
Star, now you know damn well I don’t care about these ladies opinions. When someone is right about me, which some have been before (spoken word and Angel), I have no problem admitting to it. But when they’re wrong, they’re just wrong. I’m not trying to make up for something lacking, I’m trying to bust a damn nut, lol. If it was up to me, and I could just have access to the 2-3 women I love to have sex with (or loved having sex with) whenever I wanted to, I’d just have sex with them and nobody else….ever.
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6/4/2010
so what would put a woman in that two percent? I must have missed the blog where you ate someone out…
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June 5th, 2010 at 11:26 am
I ate out more than “someone.” I ate out every main women I’ve had. I ate Freckles, Blackberry, and Bumblebee. Not how many times I’ve done it in relation to how many times I’ve had sex with them is pretty low. If you read the one about The Teller (I’m not sure if that’s still up), I ate her box and she didn’t even give me any head…smh. I’m still trying to recover from that.
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6/4/2010
Damn PPl Goin In On My Boy Undresser, Idk I Dont know you personally but i can only go by what you choose to show ppl and what u show ppl isnt all that appealin anymore, I used to come to your blog everyday to but lately it seems like somethings wrong hmmm…idk but it will be up to me whether or not i will put ur URL into my address bar….I Dont Understand Why Everyone’s Tryin To BLame It On Ur Childhood LMAO…
Moral….U Dont Have To Read This Shxt, This Isn’t UR Life U Can Walk Away From It…And Everyone’s Not Dr.Phil Or Oprah!
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June 4th, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Miss Royal Agrees!
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June 4th, 2010 at 6:43 pm
I third that. People act as if telling this nigga about himself is going to change him.
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June 5th, 2010 at 11:23 am
lol @ my childhood. Maybe one reason u dont come everyday is because…..I don’t blog everyday. Lately it’s been more like once every week and a half.
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June 6th, 2010 at 9:35 am
lol…..jus thought on it…ur right!!! lmao
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6/4/2010
So I guess the comment option is only for those who condone your sex life? So basically only “positive” comments about you? This blog is like any other male blog writing about sex, we comment because YOU gave us that option. Everything/everyone has a critic if your only expecting groupie comments then you should of stated that.
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June 4th, 2010 at 7:54 pm
um.. I Dont Think Any of The Women On This Blog Condone Any Of The Things Uh Does…But The Thing Is This Blog Is For Entertainment….Not A Research Paper For A Physicology Major, We Dont Have To Disect Who He Is Or His Personality, Like I Said In An Earlier Comment If U Dont Like What U Read, U Have The Option To Click The Lil’ X Button On The Side Of The Screen But You Dont…..Im Not Tryna Go In On But #ImJusSayin’
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June 5th, 2010 at 11:22 am
if I didn’t want to hear from you or any of the other women, I’d just delete your comments and block your ip addresses. But I haven’t and I won’t because unlike some people, when I click that lil’ X, this cease to exist. Well unless I’m venting to Poitree.
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June 6th, 2010 at 6:08 pm
@ Angel- I could not agree more.
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6/4/2010
LADIES….Some of you are going IN. Where do I begin to comment……….
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6/5/2010
I do agree that the language and interactions on here have become more bold and a bit obnoxious. I think some of that stems from this blog, which as prob boosted his ego a bit. UH has a captured audience and with each story he wants to keep you captivated and coming back to read more – which he has done.
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6/5/2010
Now to address the other stuff- Going back and forth with UH about his lifestyle is pointless and frankly, its like beating a dead horse. There can be all sorts of theories contributed to his behavior (i.e. insecurities, sense of feeling wanted/needed, need his ego stroked, sense of belonging, a guard to protect himself, etc). He will not see or admit to any of these so I will leave it there. Being a young man does not equal I can f*ck everything I see and the mindframe that if a woman does not do as I want then she is useless- UH will always try to find ways to justify why he does what he do. Many people (men and women) use sex for all the wrong reasons. It has sadly become the norm to be sexing any and everyone. This has led to the mass amount of teenage pregnancies, STDs, child abuseetc. (but that is another story)… they all do tie in to the bigger picture of what is wrong with our society and these up and coming generations.
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June 5th, 2010 at 11:15 am
First, I don’t sex any and everyone, as SHOWN by this blog. People must remember, my life is 24/7, you’re getting one blog maybe once a week or something, so how about how I treat the women I’m with all of those other days that I don’t blog about? It’s not just about me not getting head, it’s about who isn’t doing it. Bubbles can say no. Bumble Bee, Blackberry, The Singer, my classmate, and a bunch of other women I’ve messed with can tell me no and I wouldn’t trip at all. There is a difference, a HUGE difference in the women that I consider to be my friends, or even close associates, and some lil’ chick I met up with at 12 am to smash.
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6/5/2010
But we cannot just comment on UH without also mentioning the comments from some of these ladies. I am not talking about the ladies who say “good read” but the ones who come to condone treating women as sex objects and say things to get their “kudo” points from Uh – knowing if they were the woman on the blog, they would behave and/or react the same way.
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June 6th, 2010 at 5:30 pm
thank you thats all I was trying to say
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6/5/2010
WOW!!!!!!!!!! WOW WOW WOW
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6/5/2010
I wish people woulld get off of UH’s back…If you do not like his views or have a problem with what he does then DO NOT READ HIS BLOG.Every1 is entitiled to their own opinion..On either the shape of the world, the economy, sex, healthcare etc…..It is his blog, so he can call all women bitches, tell every1 to kiss his ass or whatever…If it offends you go to another dotcom…..Life is too short to take everything so serious…Abd as far as the females he choses to have encounters with that is their bear to bag on how he treats them…A MAN CAN ONLY DO WHAT A CHICK ALLOWS HIM TO DO…
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6/6/2010
It’s not that deep. Just read, ladies. Just. Read.
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6/6/2010
This is hilarious!! Seriously just don’t read it..that’s what I do..when I get annoyed with this blog i just hop on over to the next one! And trying to disect his whole life is funny to me. He does what he wants to do because he’s grown. We may not agree with it, but it thats how it is. This reminds me of hip hop music sometimes lol! if you don’t like it, turn it off!
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6/6/2010
To all the ladies stating not to read/respond to a blog if you don’t like it —- IT IS A BLOG. You can comment on it HOW YOU PLEASE. That goes for any blog you go to on the internet. Nowhere does it say if you do not agree do not read/do not reply. I read because I do find it entertaining at times. Not only from UH’s stories but some of the comments from the readers. I will continue to add my two cent. If you do not like what what a person’s comment says then just ignore it. Read the next comments, do as you claim people should do who do not always have positive things to say. KEEP IT MOVIN.
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June 6th, 2010 at 11:09 pm
that seems to be backwards thinking. When I go to sites where I don’t agree with the content, I leave the site. If a tv show is on and it’s dumb, I turn the channel. Song on the radio…change the station. I don’t write the station saying how I don’t like it. Guess that’s just me though.
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June 7th, 2010 at 2:39 am
lol you know what youre doing uH. kudos
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June 7th, 2010 at 9:12 pm
You’re right. Let me re-phrase what I was trying to say. I meant to say just because a comment you may make is not positive or not with the general consensus does not mean you shouldn’t comment That is the point I was trying to make. But to come on the site and say you hate this site, etc. Then yes I agree do come to the site. I was moreso talking about the people commenting on the comments that are not to their liking- not the people that say they hate the site.
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6/7/2010
*don’t (meant to say don’t come to the site)
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6/7/2010
if everybody just ignored everything they didn’t like where would we be? That’s the point of discussion. That’s how you can tell a moron, they never wanna discuss anything intelligently. (All my classic American novelist readers will know that quote). Where’s the intellectual stimulation in agreeing with everything? Point blank, I don’t live your lifestyle because I don’t agree with it, but it’s well written and worth reading (in my opinion). I like to read things which challenge me, especially when the author is readily available to answer me back. The unexamined life isn’t worth living.
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June 8th, 2010 at 11:22 pm
There is absolutely no intellectual stimulation in agreeing with everything. As a person who rarely agrees with anything popular American and/or black culture condones, I’m the last person to jump on a bandwagon. However, if I don’t like weave, I don’t feel the need to go to “black hair sites” and spread my disgust for a woman’s decision to disguise “reinvent” herself every other week. I don’t like tats, but instead of reading a blog about the latest and greatest ways to destroy beautiful black skin, I simply don’t go to to them.
This blog is but a mere part of my life. I’m on every website from 60 Minutes to AverageBro.Com. I like to read the blogs of strong black women who claim they would NEVER deal with a guy like me, while I secretly get messages in my inbox from women on those sites. I don’t even say my lifestyle is right; last time I checked, fornication was a BAD THING no matter if I’m with 5 women this week, or one for the rest of my life.
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