Don’t Call Me Over To Fuck, If You Can’t Fuck

I wasn’t even going to waste my excellent ability to convey my thoughts with words, but I thought this was an important message to deliver to all of you women out there who like to arouse a man with text messages or phone calls, saying how you can’t wait to have him inside of you, but by the time he gets inside of you, you ‘re not doing shit. There’s nothing worst than a bitch who can’t take dick…let alone a dick that’s not even completely hard. Shame on you and I don’t care that you asked me not to blog about that shit, because I’m angry that I wasted my gas money on you. I could have been with her, or her, or her…come to think of it, I haven’t had a chick who couldn’t take dick in like 5 years. 99% of them are screaming out “fuck me HARDER”…”kill this pussy daddy”….etc… I promise you I’m writing this with a frown on my face. I gotta vent…

For one of the first times in my life, I understand why women are so frustrated with men who talk shit about how they’re going to fuck the shit out of them, but they barely get them past the wet stage. When they tell them ‘be ready for an all night session’, but they last about 10 minutes and can’t fuck again. That’s the type of shit that makes you want to delete a person out of your life and at the very least out of your phone…but she was never in my phone.

I knew this FAILURE for a while now and to be fair, the first time we had sex, which was a little over a year and a half ago, she performed much better…or so I thought I remembered. Anyway, she sent me a message saying how she was sorry for acting the way she did way back when (I’m not even sure why I stopped talking to her, but I did know it wasn’t because of bad sex). She asked me to come see her to give her some birthday dick, so I agreed to make that long ass 20 minute drive to her house. She prefaced my trip with this line, “I haven’t had sex in a year.” Well who-gives-a-shit. As long as you deliver when I come through, I could care less, but perhaps a long stay away from sex means a woman looses any skills she previously had. There were a few things that happened that should have been red lights for me though:

1. I left my wallet over the woman’s house that I spent the night over the night before. That should have been my first sign that I wasn’t meant to go over ol’ girls house.

2. When I got over her house, she had on flip flops, after I explicitly told her to have on heels.

3. She wouldn’t get naked with her blinds open.

4. She hesitated to give me some head. “If I do this for you, what are you going to do for me?,” she asked. Umm, not a muther-fucking-thing. I’m thinking in my head, either this bitch was going to suck my dick, or I was getting back in my car. Of course, I said it in a MUCH nicer way, and eventually she wrapped her big ass lips around it, but it was ok at best. I knew she could do better, she was just being stupid for no reason.

Then comes the bullshit. I put her on the bed, pulled her pants down, throw on a mag, start to slide in her and her ass starts talking about “damn, you’re too big.” Get that shit out of here. My dick wasn’t even 3/4′s of the way up. I’m still at 5 inches or something, if she can’t take this lil’ bullshit, her vagina needs to go out of business. There is no type of acceptance by her body at all. She’s turning every-witcha-way, not letting me get any type of rhytem. So I bend her over, hoping that bending her over would solve this problem…once again, she couldn’t take a damn thing. I’m still not hard, my dick was still “bendable.” If she can’t take a limp dick…what the fuck? My women look at me like I have a problem if I don’t give them something hard enough to hold an Al Wissam leather on and this chick here…..smh. Ok, I think to myself, maybe she needs some time, it’s been “a year.”

So we go to the movies to see that dumb ass movie with Common and Queen Latifah. That was absolutely some of the worst fucking acting I’ve seen in so damn long. **Phylicia Rashād and Pam Grier look SO DAMN GOOD.** After viewing that joke of a movie, I just knew she was going to take me back to her apartment and have me “tapping out” (shouts out to CENSUS). Instead, there was a repeat of the same stuff that happened the first time. She just couldn’t take it. Then I tried to get her to ride me and …. I wondered if she ever rode a dick before. She was so off beat. She couldn’t bounce, grind, nothing. I just got out of her, watched the highlights of the Celtics game, and went to sleep.

When I woke up, I tried one more time, but this time I had a morning erection, you know the one a man has before he goes to pee. I think I heard “The Doctors” say that’s one of the most erect times in a man’s day. Anyway, she didn’t stand a chance against the full nelson. I think I put half in before her body started to break down and I just finally gave up. I had to straight up tell her, “why did you call me over here to fuck and YOU CAN’T TAKE ANY DICK.” She had some type of sad look on her face, but I could have cared less. If she was 18 and a virgin, I would have understood. This woman is 30 years old. 30 YEARS OLD. I got my stuff together and hit the exit.

Turns out though, I wasn’t the first dude who told her she was WACK….

Just in case you can’t see that pic, it says “ive been told that by 3 guys (that I can’t fuck) so tell me what u want me 2 do next time????”

Too bad there will never be a next time. I rather jack off to Golden Girls.

Related Posts:

• My Neighbor Surfed A Tsunami
• Reality Check: Waste Of Her Time
• Male Insecurities: Let Me Down Gently
• Big Hard Booty: Lots of Squats or Injection Shots
• No Head, STILL NO SERVICE

Author: The Undresser

Black, Single, and Not Looking. Enjoys grilled salmon, cold glasses of water, and grocery shopping at Meijer. Likes women with nice ass to waist ratios, Reese Cups, and watching Real Time with Bill Maher. Dislikes cigarettes, littering, and disobedient children.

44 Comments

Leave a Reply

Spam Protection by WP-SpamFree

Click to cancel reply

Notify me of follow-up comments via e-mail

Related Posts