Room Wars

Have you ever gone to a hotel room and heart the people in the next room getting it in? Did the woman seem like she was more interested in acting like she was in a porno then actually enjoying sex (that’s the hater in me)? Did you feel the pressure to perform even better because the other couple seemed to be having so much fun? Well, I did. Room 208 vs 206. Grab your chick, get her naked, and assume the first position…

My teammate is Lita. She’s 30+ and one of my classmates. I just so happen to have one class that is STACKED with single women, but admittedly, at the start of semester, I ignored her. When we were doing class introductions, she said she had a boyfriend so I never even said anything to her until she sat next to me and I started using her book. For the record, I don’t have any books, so I rely on my female associates/friends to loan me theirs when I need them. One day, she asked me for my number and started confessing on how handsome she thought I was and all that, so … we started hooking up. I found out she has a man, but he’s more like a sugar daddy, and for some reason he only gives her oral sex. I’ve never heard of that before, so she could be lying, but who knows. He seems to obsessed with eating her box (and giving her money), which is the complete opposite of the things I like to do. Everyone needs balance I guess.

All of that take us to the evening at hand. Lita called me and asked me to meet her at the room around 11. We sat on the bed for awhile, laughing at cheesy porn and watching basketball. When we finally cut the tv off, we heard the moans and screams of a amateur porn star girl from the adjacent room. She screamed out as the bed knocked up against the wall that divided our rooms. Lita burst out laughing, “bitch shut up” she said loudly. I’m not sure if they heard her, but her moans and shit talking got louder and louder. This means war.

At this point, I’m getting my game plan together. Should I start out with getting some head? Nah, that’s not enough offensive firepower. I told her to bend over so I could deliver the strokes of death. She arched her ass up off the end of the bed and I slid inside of her. By now, the other couple’s room was silent and the stage was set for me to make her act a mutha-fuckin’ fool. I smacked her ass while I drove my dick deep inside of her cave. Her fingers gripped the sheets like she was trying not to fall off the bed. Her pussy became wetter and easier to slide into with every stroke. Everything was working…except the audio. I couldn’t get her to scream for shit. It had to be natural, so I couldn’t ask her to do it or suggest it to her. Instead of loud noises, she melted in the bed. She calls it “grown woman orgrasms.” Her body twisted and twitched while she leaked her juices on the condom. Legs vibrantly shaking as I slowed down my strokes. She got on top of me and grinded slowly until she looked up to the ceiling and collapsed. She whispered in my ear, “you better not fucking stop boy….I’m cumming.” I could feel the walls her vagina tense up against my erection. Yet in still, no screaming.

It seemed as if the couple next door knew the came and decided to start on cue. 30 seconds of those damn screams again. Ain’t this about a bitch. For a brief second, I wanted to go knock on their door and tell dude we should switch so I could see if it was just me; but fortunately I snapped back to reality rather quickly. Lita tried to console me, “baby, I don’t do all of that fake ass shit.” That did little to heal my bruised ego. I was tempted to call up one of my other girls who likes to make her satisfaction audible to everyone within a 1 mile radius. Lita sat pushed me down on the bed and rode me backwards until I weakly came and laid on the bed with the same defeated look on my face that Lebron had when they lost the to Orlando. I spoke to myself in third person like Tiger Woods, “Michigan Undresser….you suck.”

I really don’t care for all of that fake screaming bullshit, but darn it, when it comes down to a friendly competition, I like to WIN. Has anyone else had this type of problem? How many of you ladies are screamers…and how many of you don’t need to exaggerate all of that stuff to have a good orgasm?

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Author: The Undresser

Black, Single, and Not Looking. Enjoys grilled salmon, cold glasses of water, and grocery shopping at Meijer. Likes women with nice ass to waist ratios, Reese Cups, and watching Real Time with Bill Maher. Dislikes cigarettes, littering, and disobedient children.

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