Strap Up Or STRAP YOUR KIDS IN

First off, for you idiots with no common sense (THAT IS NOT THE BABY IN THIS ENTRY, JUST A RANDOM FUNNY PIC I SAW). Moving on…

Sometimes I have to ask myself, “WHERE DO YOU MEET THESE WOMEN?” I won’t juice the story up like this one some super cute chick, she was just a random girl I met last fall at a liquor store. She is average looking in the face, no type of thickness. I only talked to her because she and her girl were flirting with me while I was getting some Reese cups and a Arizona Ice Tea. She didn’t live too far from me, so I figured she’d be fun on a dry day.

She text me and asked me would I be busy later, so I told her I’d hit her up after 8. I called her to see where she was and she told me she wasn’t at home. I specifically asked her would this trip involve me taking her home or anything and she said no. 10 minutes later, I get a call from her saying, “I need a favor. My sister can’t take my son home, so can you do it?” I’m not one to save chicks, but I was feeling nice, plus….it’s a baby for goodness sake. So she gets her son in the car and puts him in his car seat. The car seat is facing us ( could have sworn the back of the seat was supposed to be against the back of the passenger side seat), but I didn’t say anything.

I cut my music down real low, to a slow jazz station (I think it’s so damn rude and disrespectful to blast rap, especially the “fuck a bitch” stuff I listen to or some other obscene music while there are children in the car). Her house was only about 3-4 minutes from her sisters spot, so it wasn’t a big deal. I drove pretty slow until I got to a left turn light that was about to turn red, so I sped up to beat it. MISTAKE.

I turned left and what did I hear in my backseat? The fucking sound of a car seat rolling over with a little  boy in it damn near hitting his head on the door. I pulled over quickly and began to curse his mother out. “Why the fuck didn’t you buckle him in?” She gave some lame ass excuse about the trip being so short, she didn’t think she needed to. “Are you serious? What if we got into an accident. You’re up here with your seat belt on. I have mine on. And you thought it was ok to leave his off? What if I had to hit the breaks suddenly?” She didn’t say anything.

I apologized to the kid as if he could understand me. He wasn’t crying or anything, so it kind of made me believe he was used to falling over all the time. We got to her house and she took him in the house, then came back out to my car. That whole situation turned me off, so I decided to just park somewhere and run through her.

But oh no, turns out the hoodrat has morals. “What is this? This is like somewhere you’d take a hooker.” I looked at her with a big question mark on my face. “You must be use to those easy girls huh?”

Um excuse me, but is it just me or does anybody else reading this see that I was about to fuck her anyway. The location of where I fuck you doesn’t matter, it’s the 2nd time I’ve seen you in my life. I have NEVER had a phone convo with this woman. We may have had 6 or 7 text messages. Rather I fucked her in my house, a $500 hotel, or a park bench…..she would have been amongst the quickest and easiest women I’ve ever got at.

I cut into her, “are we fucking or what?” She looked at me in disgust, “maybe we should try this another day.” I laughed and turned on Lloyd Banks. Any woman who has ever rode in my car knows that when I turn on Lloyd Banks….it’s a wrap. After a good verse of “no fucking? no talking, get to walking”, I turned the music down and said…..”nah shortie, no need to think of another day. We’re done. You’re wasting my time.” Then I turned the music back up and dropped her off.

She said something when she got out and I just nodded my head.

I wish I could have that 35 minutes of my life back, but ah well…comes with the lifestyle.

Related Posts:

• Take It or Leave It
• What Do You Think Is Going To Happen?
• The Bi-Polar Good Girl
• 0 for 3
• What Did I Do Wrong?

Author: The Undresser

Black, Single, and Not Looking. Enjoys grilled salmon, cold glasses of water, and grocery shopping at Meijer. Likes women with nice ass to waist ratios, Reese Cups, and watching Real Time with Bill Maher. Dislikes cigarettes, littering, and disobedient children.

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