Out Of Order: Abortions

No images. No funny stories. This is about me, my selfishness, my hypocrisy, and my whole fucked up way of viewing life sometimes. It’s about my lack of understanding and my lack of compassion. Being a REAL man is not just about being able to pay your own bills and telling the truth to the women you fuck. In this area, I’ve been acting like a stupid ass little boy.

To those women, I AM SORRY. You know who you are.

I was forced to think about abortions, courtesy of a forum thread I was reading on BHM today. The girl’s story really made me think about how much of an asshole I was being to all the women who ever came to me and said they were pregnant, regardless if it was true or not.

I am not the type of man to get a woman pregnant and run from my responsibilities. I just couldn’t imagine not being involved in my child’s life. There are few things worst to me than a man who does not care for his child, both financially and emotionally. Unfortunately, that doesn’t hold true for the potential mother. When a woman tells me she’s pregnant, I tend to push her away. I actually start to feel like she’s responsible for ruining my life, even though I know in my heart, that’s not right. None of it is her fault, but I just don’t want to be bothered with her anymore, so I’ll stop talking to her all together. Keep in mind, I will still take care of my child, I just don’t want to associate with the girl. It’s wrong, I KNOW, it’s just something fucked up with me.

When I first started having sex, I vowed to never have sex without a condom. Well, I FAILED. I failed by the time I was 16 and got with a consistent sexual partner (my girlfriend at the time). She never became pregnant by me, but it planted the mental seed that most people get: RAW SEX IS THE BEST SEX.

Now honestly, sex was meant to be raw. Actually, there are some people that say wearing condoms are a sin, ON TOP of the act of fornication. With that said, it’s completely natural for people to want to take the rubber off, BUT, it’s unnatural for us to have sex with multiple people without being married. So because of your fucked up ways regarding sex, we must use protection. Protection to prevent the spread of STD’s and to stop unwanted pregnancies. In reality though, that rarely happens.

Everybody and their momma is pregnant nowadays. All the girls have baby daddies, nobody has a husband. I’m reminded my something I heard something Judge Lynn Toler say, “girlfriends aren’t for making babies, WIVES ARE.” Preach sistah, preach.

But on that same token, in all honesty, girlfriends aren’t for having sex with either, WIVES ARE. Once again, due to my own neglect to do what I know what’s right, multiple women were impregnated by me.

The first two, I never really believed them. Perhaps that’s why I was emotionless when I handed over a few hundred dollars for an abortion. I really treated it as the cost for them to leave me the heck alone. Neither of them were my mains or even girls I liked, we just had sex a bunch of times, PROTECTED SEX mind you, but I didn’t feel like waiting for 9 months for a paternity test. But since I had sex with them and there was a remote possibility, I just paid to solve the problem. I don’t even know if they had abortions, because I stopped talking to them right after I gave them the money.

In early 2008 though, reality set in. My ex was pregnant. Every woman in the world that knows me knows I don’t want children, AT ALL. Like NEVER, EVER. Seriously. At the same time, they know I’m not the type of dude to ignore a child I created. Armed with this knowledge, my ex decided to have an abortion. Could I have stopped it? I think I could have. We weren’t together, but we were still having sex off and on. She had a new man, would she have to say it was his? I hope not. Her man was there for her though, showing qualities of a REAL brother. Now personally, I would have stopped talking to her, but he stood by her the entire time, he gets my respect for that one. She was still shook up this past mothers day and I felt pretty bad, seeing as though she was the first girl that I even thought about being the mother of my child. Like the girls before her, I didn’t push her away though, we just kept our distance.

After her, another girl got pregnant and it was pretty much already pre-determined that she wasn’t going to have it. Once again, I think I could have stopped it, but I didn’t. She already had a child and I just wasn’t trying to make that leap, but if she did have the child, I would have stuck around. I would not have been with the girl, but one thing I could say is that she was a heck of a good mom to her the child she had.

My biggest fear is getting the WRONG girl pregnant. I could deal with my main or one of my ex’s being pregnant. Maybe even one girl from the A-Team, but the thought of some random jumpoff who can barely take care of herself, possibly being my child’s mother makes be buy condoms by the hundreds. I’ve seen plenty of dudes fuck hoodrats that are now mothering their children. It’s a sad tale. These hoes ain’t shit out here, they’ll have some random nigga just like you were, all around your kids. I know, cause I’m that random dude. I’ve even fucked some girls that were pregnant. I almost had sex with a girl while her newborn baby was in the crib sleep, maybe 15 ft from the bed, but I just couldn’t do it. My dick wouldn’t even get hard and I eventually left.

The last woman I got pregnant, I just really dropped the ball. I wasn’t scared of her having my child, I was just scared of what my life could turn into. Scared my lifestyle would have to change. You can’t be theUNDRESSER with children out here. I like to do whatever the heck I feel like doing. Go away for a day, no clean up after anybody, not have to make plans, etc… A child changes all that. But of course, I should have thought about that before strapping up. Fuck it, I’m selfish.

At this point, I’m still a few grand short of a vasectomy. It’s not as easy to get as most would think. If you’re young (as in under 35) with no kids, they pretty much ignore you….unless your money can convince them otherwise. My grandma says she wants some great-grand-babbies, as if she doesn’t have like 12 already. I guess she wants some courtesy of me, but good luck with that, since I’m clearly her favorite grandson, lol. Good luck with that G-Ma. I just don’t want them.

Not EVER wanting kids and being serious about it also can have negative reactions with the ladies. Thankfully, my main doesn’t want children, but if she did, that would cause a huge problem if I ever did want to settle down. I’ve only known two women in my life that didn’t want children and I’ve managed to push them both away. The chances of finding A-Team, future MAIN, worthy that don’t want children is VERY LOW, but hey, there’s a lot of women out here right?

I’m not pro-abortion, but seeing as though I don’t want kids, yet continue to have sex, I’m really fake with it. Can’t explain it, but I’m sure some folks can relate. Yes I know children are a blessing. They can teach you real love, patience, charity, and all of the things that make you a better person. A lot of women get their lives together to take care of their kids better, which is something I admire. It could possibly do the same for me, but I’m sorry, I just don’t want to find out. This is a crazy world. It’s getting worst everyday, and I’ll be damned if the next little undressher is going to run his bullshit on my daughter. Nope. I’d have to buy parental software for my computers. Get some baby gates up and those little bumpers on the tables so my son won’t bust his head. Oh no……THE CRYING. Ahhh, that damn crying. Oh worst off, I’d have to take that loud ass music out of my cars. Nah, fuck that. VASECTOMY ALL DAY.

To the ladies, on some real shit STOP LETTING FUCK YOU RAW. Just stop. All together, atleast until he puts a ring on your finger.

Fellas, stop fucking girls raw, but especially, any girl who you would not want to be the mother of your child.

For the record, I’m taking my own advice. To those ladies, I’m SORRY.

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Author: The Undresser

Black, Single, and Not Looking. Enjoys grilled salmon, cold glasses of water, and grocery shopping at Meijer. Likes women with nice ass to waist ratios, Reese Cups, and watching Real Time with Bill Maher. Dislikes cigarettes, littering, and disobedient children.

2 Comments

jay mitch

7/30/2009

the morning after pill may be the answer to your woes.

[Reply]

CocoLeo

8/5/2009

My sex has to do better than this. When a man can air out all the biz like this. It makes us look so bad and hungry. We have to stop all this baby mama stuff! And if you are one, then let your daughters know they don’t have to be one and your sons don’t have to make one. Elevate yourself ladies! Just because you graduated or attend college or have your own this and that doesn’t mean your educated. Undresser I don’t think you should get snipped just yet. I’ve heard “you born the child and not the heart” My bf never wanted to get married or have kids…she’s changed. All that was because she had major trust issues with men. Her father was a royal screw up, then again maybe you shouldn’t have kids if you know you wouldn’t be with the mother. Why continue the single baby mamma cycle that is dominating the black community?

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